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Fred’s House Call

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We sleep late.

I woke, looking around my now-familiar bedroom, at the dirty clothes from yesterday always strewn on the floor from last night. Emma sleeps next to me, her back to me. I draw my fingernails lightly down her back, and she lithely stretches her back to me. “Mm Fred…” she mumbles in her sleep and I scratch harder. She purrs, like a cat, and slides her naked ass against my lower belly. I feel myself rising against her and I slide gently along the cheeks of her ass. She arches her back to press against me and wiggles, I reach around to her cup her right breast, rubbing the nipple so gently and feeling her response.

“Let’s do it, Fred,” she says dreamily. I reach to the bedside table for a condom. She complains in mutters when I pull away to slip the condom on, but purrs again when I press back up against her, sliding the head of my dick along her lips until she pulls her legs up and backs to me as I slide slowly into her, feeling her tense against the invasion and then relax in welcome.

“Mrfr glph Fred,” she says matter-of-factly and I pull out a little and push in deeper. It’s a weird angle, and she rolls forward a little to press against me harder. I push into her in one slow smooth stroke and I hear her moan my name. I pull out in one frictive stroke and press back into her, slowly, and I feel her wet on me and getting wetter. I put my hand on her right hip and roll away, pulling out almost all the way, and roll forward into her. “Munh, go away, we’re busy…harder, Fred.”

She pulls away as I pull from her, and then pushes to me as I push into her. “Yeah, like that, just like…ohh…ohh Fred…mmn huh?”

She raises her head off the pillow and lets out a long moan. “Oh God Fred…you know how to wake a girl up don’t you, Mr…Real Man…oh Gawd yes, yes–“

I feel her clench me and she shifts her leg to press us together and I feel her shake and hear her cry out into the pillow, and she grips me with her pussy and I feel she is so wet. I wonder if it qualifies as lubricant–

I slide out of her, and she sighs. I move the tip of the condom up to her ass and she shudders but makes no move to stop me. I rip it off.

I press slowly into her ass, her own juices easing my way and Em’s panting loud in my ear as she arcs back to me. “Oh Fred…” She trembles and gasps, rolls slowly over onto her belly and I get my legs under me.

“Hnh–Oh! Unh…” I slip all the way into her and pull back. I stroke once into her, twice, and she is crooning her pleasure. I pull all the way out and then press into her a very short way, pull out again, barely slip inside, and keep this up. She begins to moan and I’m starting to get close…I slide deep into her again and she cries “Fred…whoa–OH!”and shakes under me, her ass grasping me and her cheeks shaking and I feel my own climax rising in me, driving me on faster and harder, keeping Em’s orgasm rising as I build and…

I’m coming now, feeling each spurt echo throughout my body and shuddering as I fill Em. She yells in pleasure and clamps down upon me, stilling me, squeezing me over and over as I fell her gorgeous butt with my come and kiss the back of her neck.

I pull free and she rolls over, grabs my dirty t-shirt off the floor, and places it strategically beneath her. “Fred,” she says, “you broke the rule.”

“I know,” I tell her, and I do; the Emma’s butt rule is always lube, shower after. “But don’t you count as lube?”

“I did this time, which is why I let you get away with it. THAT part of it, anyway,” she says, getting out of bed. “C’mon, shower with me. Oh, and…what an awesome thing to wake up to, getting fucked in the bottom. Thank you, Daddy,” she tells me, and skips to the bathroom to shower. Shaking my head, I follow.

“Fuck, I’ve been letting myself go.”

Emma looks dismayed, dripping water onto the bathroom scale. I sneak a peek; it says 128. She sees me looking and pushes me out of the bathroom. “Get out!” she yells, and she actually looks angry at me.

“What’s wrong, Em? You’re perfect–“

“I’m fucking FAT, Fred!” she yells. “I don’t want you seeing just how far out of shape I am!”

“I can’t see it, baby.” I make a point of looking her up and down. “You look incredible–“

“Is that some new word for ‘lardass’?” She slams the bathroom door in my face.


“Go away, Fred.” She sounds really irritated.

I go into the living room and sit naked on the couch. I stare into the empty corner where Emma’s Christmas tree only recently stood. I’m pretty confused by Emma’s reaction to the scale, and to me. I feel pretty glum about it and I’m wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done differently when Em opens the bathroom door and comes and sits next to me, still in the nude. I look at her for a moment, and she looks back at me; I slide my arm around her shoulders.

“What’d I do, Em?”

She cuddles into me and lays her head on my shoulder. “You didn’t do anything, I’m really sorry, big guy. I’m just…overweight, that’s all.”

“You are not overweight. You’re perfect,” I tell her, and I feel her istanbul escort stiffen.

“Are you trying to make me fat, Fred?”

“I’m trying to make you see that I’d love you if you weighed three hundred pounds–“

This is apparently the wrong thing to say. She lurches out of the couch. “Dammit, I know what I’m supposed to weigh, and I’m not gonna get fat for you, or anybody else.” She stomps off to the bedroom in a way that reminds me of the Exit March Carol would always do when she was determined to fight with me. In hindsight I see that Carol was always determined to fight with me when she was sneaking off to another hookup with her lover Frank. Could it be that she could only get it up if I was mad at her?

I sit for another moment and then get up and walk into the bedroom. Emma is dressing in a sweatsuit and looks at me only in passing.

“Em, I’ve got to go to work–“

“Okay, see you later,” she says, and her voice is distant, cool.

I walk in and kiss her, and she’s passive. “I don’t know what I said or did to make you mad, but I’m sorry,” I tell her, and I dress in a hurry. While I’m putting on thermal undies, jeans, a sweatshirt, two pairs of socks, and boots, she walks stiffly out of the room and I hear the front door open and shut.


Now in uniform I call into work.

“Unseen Security, Vic Torrance.”

“Hi Vic, Fred.”

“Fred! Got a residential for you, asked for you special.”

“Would that name be Fendle?”

“No, Duncan.”

“Oh. Not Carol?”

“Carol Duncan.”

“Shit. I don’t want to go anywhere near her. Can anyone else do this one?”

“She made it pretty clear that if someone else showed up the deal was off.”

“Vic, she doesn’t want an alarm, she wants a reconciliation.”

“Fred, she might actually just want an alarm–“

“Even if she did, she won’t once she finds out that reconciliation isn’t gonna happen.”

“Fred, it’s business. You gotta go.”

“…Alright, Vic. But I’m gonna say ‘I told you so’ all over your dumb ass.”

“Whatever you need to do, buddy.”

Emma’s car is already gone when I get into mine, and in the frigid sunshine I see her tire tracks in the snow heading off toward town. I miss her already and I wish I could make things right by her; I’d certainly tried. I consider calling her cell but I figure I’ll give her some time to cool off.

I stop by work and pick up the truck, then make the drive over to the apartment that Carol and I used to share. With a sense of dread I knock on the door.

The door opens and Carol stands before me in a slinky negligee. “Oh, Fred,” she says in a sighing kind of voice, and she falls into my arms. I push her back, but not before I feel her tits against my arm.

“You wanted an alarm, Carol?”

“Come in. Please,” she adds, holding the door. I enter, wary.

“I want an alarm installer.”

I sigh. “Carol…no. No. If you want an alarm put in, I can help you with that.”

“You know what I want put in, Fred–” Carol drops the top of the negligee, and I avert my eyes and back toward the door.

“Alright, alright,” she says and when I look back she’s covered herself. “Yes, I want an alarm.”

“Only if you promise me you’ll put some fucking clothes on.”

“Okay,” she says, too quickly, and I don’t trust her at all. I plan my fast escape. I set my briefcase on the table and turn to her.

“Okay, what is it you’re interested in?”

“Fred, you can’t leave me.”

Sigh. “Watch me.” I pick up my briefcase and step toward the door. She grabs my sleeve.

“No, please…I fucked up, I know I did, I don’t want our marriage to end!”

“Too late. Where’s Frank?” I ask.

“He’s gone, he went home to his wife. She took him back, why won’t you take me back?”

“Uhh, maybe she took him back because he didn’t lie to her. You lied over and over to me. I wouldn’t take you back even if you weren’t a whore,” I throw in, out of spite, and I immediately regret it.

When she speaks again her voice is rueful. “I AM a whore. I’ve been so stupid…Please let me make it up to you.”

“That’s almost exactly what you said last time,” I remind her. “And thinking of all the ‘business trips’ you took around then I don’t believe it ended there.” I shake my head. “Don’t worry, Carol, you’ll find another stupe.”

My phone rings, my personal ring for Emma. I answer. “Hi,” I say, wary.

“Hi Fred, I wanted to call and tell you I love you,” she says.

“I love you too, Emma,” I say.

Carol screams. “He loves you so much he’s fucking me right now!”

“Hey, Emma? Hello?”

The phone is silent. I check the display and she has disconnected.

“Oh that is IT!” I yell. “I will NEVER EVER get back with you, Carol, you’re poisonous and evil and I hope you fucking ROT.” I gather my briefcase.

“Fred, wait–” She grabs my arm, and I fling her off. “You can’t go! You’re my hus–“

I turn on her and walk toward her, my fists clenching. “I am not yours, Carol. avcılar escort If you had any respect or any decency, you’d have stayed faithful to me when I was, not…fucked whoever caught your eye over and over again, and made up lies about it to cover your ass.” She looks frightened and backs up as I walk toward her

“You poison and pollute everything around you. You’re so fucking scared I’ll be happy with someone else that you lie to HER over the phone!”

She shakes her head. “I said that because I can’t stand that you’re with her–“

“But you can stand to go fuck someone outside of our marriage again and again, and just smile and nod when I ask if you’ve really been where you say you were instead of where I know you were–at the Shady Rest Motel with Frank Caswell!” Carol has backed up against the wall and I am spitting my words into her face. “No. I love Emma, and if I can’t have her I will be alone forever, so LEAVE ME BE!” I turn and gather everything and head for the door.

Carol starts to cry. “Fred, wait…I’ll do anything, please…please let me…suck your cock, Fred, I’ll do anything–“

“You’ll never even SEE my cock again, Carol. You won’t get me close enough to throw a rock at you again.” I let myself out to the sound of her sobbing and take the stairs down.

At my truck, I return Emma’s call, but it goes directly to voicemail. “Emma, it’s Fred, don’t even believe what she said, she put in a call for an alarm and I had to answer it.” I pause. “Please call me, I love you and I really need to hear your voice now.”

“Unseen Security, Vic Torrance–“

“Vic, you motherfucker, I told you.”

“Hey, whoa Fred, don’t–“

“I get here, she’s in a skimpy fucking nightie trying to get in my pants. I FUCKING TOLD YOU.”

“Okay, okay, you told me, Fred, calm down–“

“Calm down my fucking ass, this mighta just ruined my relationship with Emma.”

“Hey, wait a minute.”

“No, man. You know what’s going on with Carol, and you still sent me over there, to make a buck. Not cool.”

“Okay, okay,” Vic tells me. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll send Ted out on it.”

“Send T– Why didn’t you just send him anyway?”

“Look, it’s fucked up, okay? I know I shoulda known.”

“No, Vic, you DID know. I TOLD you. You said there was no-one else, and now you say you’ll give it to Ted? That’s really fucked up. Then Emma calls right in the middle of her shit, Carol screams that I’m fucking her right now.”

“…Okay, Fred, drop in and talk to me about it.”

“I’m on my way there to drop off the truck.”

“I’ve got a service call for you–“

“Give it to Ted.”

As I drive toward work to drop off the truck and pick up my last check, I see a familiar figure trudging along the sidewalk, hunched over from the cold. I look closer; sure enough. I pull over. “Hey Jan!”

Janice turns to look at me, confused; she doesn’t recognize the truck, but she finally recognizes me.

“Oh, Fred! Hi!”

“Need a ride?”

My friend Janice nods and hops in. Janice isn’t pretty–she’s cute in a mousy kind of way–but when she smiles like that I can see guys hittin’ on her. Not that she likes guys.

“Sure, can you drop me at Jo’s?”

“Yep. Where’s Jo’s?”

She points forward, and I pull onto the road.

“How are you, Fred?” She smiles.

“Kinda rotten,” I tell her. “I’m on my way to quit my job.”

“Whoa. Why?”

I smile. “You really don’t wanna know.”

Janice waits a minute. “How’s Emma?”

I don’t answer right away. “She’s mad at me..”

Janice looks at me. I feel embarrassed.


“I told you, you don’t wanna know.”

“But you wanna tell me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“‘I’m on my way to quit my job, never mind. Emma’s mad at me, never mind.”

I laugh. “Do you really wanna hear it?”

“Pull over right here,” Janice says, looking resigned. I do. “Okay, now spill.”

“I call into work, and they say they have an install job for Carol, she’s–“

“Wife, yeah,” she fills in.

“So, I go over there and she answers the door in this sexy negligee, and tries to get me into bed. I’m fighting her off every step, and then Emma calls, she’s mad enough as it is, Carol screams I’m fucking her now, Em hangs up. So I call my work, tell em they’re assholes, I’m bringing the truck back.”

Janice is quiet a minute. “Why was she mad before?”

I look at her. “I don’t know.”

She waits and I go on. “She freaked out on the bathroom scale, said she was fat, I said no you look perfect, she got mad. I told her I’d love her if she was three hundred pounds, she got really mad and took off.”

“What was she wearing?” Janice asks.

“What? A…sweat suit. Blue.”

Janice laughs. “Dummy.”


“You shouldn’t have said any of that, no wonder she’s mad.”

“Well, what would you say?”

And she tells me, and I slap my head. It’s obvious…now. “I wish I’d thought of that,” I tell her.

“You’re dumb, you’re a boy,” she responds. “Did you call her?”

“I şirinevler escort tried to, it went to voicemail. I left a message.”

Janice shook her head. “Yeah, she might be angry. You should go apologize in person.”

“I don’t know where she is,” I tell her.

“You don’t? Dummy. Think like a girl, Derf.” Great, next Em’ll have the neighbors calling me that. “If you just got told by your old man that he doesn’t care that you’re fat and that it doesn’t matter how much you weigh as long as it’s under three hundred pounds, you put on a sweat suit and leave, where do you go?”

“I didn’t say any of that!”

“Not in so many words, no.”

I stare. “You really think she interpreted it that way?”

She shrugs. “I dunno, I have no idea how girls think. If you find out, tell me.” She opens the door. “Are we still on to bowl tonight?”

“Wait, Jan, tell me where!”

“You’ll figure it out…”

And I know. And it’s obvious. “The gym. She went to the gym.”

“Maybe you aren’t so dumb after all. For a boy,” she adds. “Bowling? Tonight?”

“Of course,” I tell her. “Provided Emma’s okay with it.”

“Fred…why do you guys roll with us? We really suck.”

I grin it at her. “‘Cause you guys are fun. Jan…”


“Thanks,” I tell her. She smiles.

“Anytime. You’re a great guy, Derf.” She shuts the door.

Jan waves and runs across Laurel Street and up the walk of a small white house. The front door opens, and Jo appears; Janice runs up and hugs her and speaks to her and Jo waves. I wave back. Jo can’t bowl worth shit but she can pack away beer to keep with any man.

I pull back onto the street and turn around, feeling like Janice and I had just had a beer together.

“Very good, sir,” the gym guy says to me when I show him my card. I go in.

I walk around, taking in the nautilus machines, the racquetball court, the people. There. Emma runs on a treadmill, sweat on her forehead, eyes closed. I walk up next to her.

“Hi, hot stuff,” I say.

“Fuck off, I’m taken,” she replies, without opening her eyes.

“Yeah, I think I know the guy,” I tell her, and she turns and looks at me. She stops the treadmill.

“Hi Fred, I need to talk to you.”

“I’ve come to apologize about a few things first,” I tell her.

She waits.

“I’m sorry I said that stuff to you this morning, I didn’t mean it that way at all. All I meant is, I love you however you are.”

Emma grins that fabulous Emma grin I fell in love with. “Yeah?”

“I want to work out with you. I could stand to lose a few pounds.”

“You have to change clothes,” she tells me, then drags me in close, kisses me. “What was Carol doing around you? I told her to stay away…”

“My work,” I said. “She called ’em and told ’em she needed an alarm, and she didn’t want one unless I installed it. I show up there and she answers the door in a skimpy nightie and tries to crawl up my pantleg. I told Vic she would, he sent me anyway. So after this woman tries to fuck me and suck my dick, I keep telling her no, you call, and she yelled and Em, I never touched her.”

“I never thought you did, Fred.”

I look at her a moment. “You did hear her, right?”

“I heard her.” I cock my head at her. “Fred, I think I know Carol, and as soon as she said that I knew she wasn’t getting anything from you.”

“Why didn’t you answer my call? I’ve been worried to death about you!”

“The battery in my phone went dead while I was waiting for you to tell me what you wanted done with her.”

I stare. “Em, I thought you were furious at me, I was worried that you thought there was any possibility I would put my dick in that.”

“Did hell freeze this morning?”

I hug Emma, and I don’t mind the sweat sticking her skin to mine, and I am once again astounded by how deeply I feel for this woman I have loved for so short a time. Our lips meet and we kiss for one sweet moment–and Em pulls away.

“I really overreacted about my weight, Fred.”

“How much overweight are you?”

She looks at her feet. “Six pounds.”

“Six. Six pounds.” She nods. “You made me crazy over SIX POUNDS?”

“I…I know. I’m sorry.”

I turn her around and spank her, six good loud swats that echo off the tall windows of the gym. Emma keeps her head down but I can see through her sweaty hair the she’s smiling a little.

“Thank you, Fred. You know I needed that.” Her smile drops. “I’m gonna do something about Carol. She sexually assaulted you, Fred.”

“Don’t you get into trouble, or worse,” I tell her. She nods.

“Don’t worry, Fred. I won’t do anything to her…” She trails off, and I catch her looking over my shoulder. “Hi Guy!”

“Hi Emma! Fred, right?” Guy is a big, burly guy, probably six-five. I nod. “This lady here doesn’t typically like to be bothered. Is he bugging you?” he asks Emma.

“Oh, he bothers me all the time, I insist on it. Guy, personal trainer, Fred, fiancée.” We shake. “You’re Fred’s trainer too?”

“Yep.” He faces me. “Get changed,” Guy says to me, but Emma interrupts him.

“I’ve gotta get going, Guy,” she says. “Hate to tell you this, but I’m draggin’ my man out with me.”

“I gotta–“

“He’ll be back, Guy,” she tells him. “We’ll be here Saturday. Right?” she tells instead of asks.

I look at Emma then back to Guy. “I’m here,” I say, feeling wise.

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