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The Monkey’s Penis Ch. 13

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David Moreno finds things becoming surreal as a relic of antiquity collides with his everyday life. He finally figures out what is going on and tries to turn the tables. But watch out …

See No Evil: Contains sexually explicit and politically incorrect material. If you shouldn’t be reading this, or if it might offend you, simply stop now.

Legalese: All actors and actresses are over the age of consent. Proof of age is on file. Any similarity of any character, event or place to any actual person, event or place, is purely coincidental. This is all fantasy, and the actors are all professionals — do not try any of this at home.

Archiving: You are welcome to discreetly repost or archive this, just do not change it, steal from it or claim credit for it.

Author’s Rambling: This story comes in two parts, a yin swing and a yang swing — the acolyte at the beginning of the tale will tell you that this is the way of the universe.

Live well!

13. Loose Cannons and Loose Ends

— —– ——- — —– —-

By 4:00, the Lyons and Hartcliffe building had already put in a reconciliatory call to their rebellious daughter company across the street.

“Hello? Is this Moreno’s son?”

“This is David.”

“David, this is Charles Gillespy. We’d like to discuss, uhm … terms.”

“Mmmm … nah.”

“C’mon! How can these men go home to their wives dressed like … THIS?!”

“Well, maybe it will teach them a lesson.”

“How can they go home to their daughters?! To their sons? That look up to them?! As role models, David?! How CAN they?!”

“Well, you shoulda thought of that before you shot your mouth off to my mother.”

“How can I play golf in a garter and heels, man?!”

David smiled, practically able to see Gillespy, holding the phone in both hands, shouting that last into it, his face purple with impotent rage.

“He’s up to something, David,” Kelsey said again, nodding her head with squinted eyes.

“Tell you what, Chuck — you don’t mind if I call you Chuck — have your surrender party over here by 4:30 and I’ll see how generous I can be.”

“Awright,” Gillespy grunted, then hung up.


At 4:30, Gillespy, Bryant, Ashford, Elaine and Min Li were assembled at a conference room in their competitors’ building. The men were dressed in just women’s lingerie.

David entered with his mother, Kelsey, Mulholland, Katie and Paul Before much breathing could be done, he held the penis up and wished, “Let the women in this room be immune to the scent of my cum.” Otherwise, it would be hard to get anything done with the writhing female flesh in the room.

“Cunt-fuck!” Min Li squealed at her five-minute mark and covered her mouth with her hand.

David kept the penis raised for another wish: “Also, let truth be spoken here.”

“Shit!” Gillespy cursed.

David lowered the penis.

“I oughtta have you whacked,” Gillespy muttered. He realized that he had said it out loud, but he stood there by his words like a soldier. In a garter, hose and bra..

David shrugged. “And I oughtta make your butt crave cock. But … we’ll see how the meeting goes.”

“I have such a GOOD boy,” Lydia muttered her thoughts.

“Bitch,” Min Li snarled. “I’ve already sucked twelve guys because kartal escort of your son!”

“Muff … muff … muff … muff … muff … muff …,” Paul quietly chanted his thoughts.

“Hey, Steve, nice butt,” Bryant told Ashford.

“Freak!” Ashford said as he stepped away from the freak.

“I wish David would be my boyfriend,” Kelsey said softly.

“This just isn’t right,” Mulholland shook her head. “Not any of it.”

“Ohgod, I’m creaming myself again,” Elaine complained.

And so on.

“Before we discuss terms,” David tried to focus the meeting. “What were you, Bryant and Ashford meeting about his morning?”

“Yeah,” Kelsey chimed in, crossing her arms, “What are you UP to?”

“Well, we’re draining the retirement fund dry,” Gillespy said. Dammit, he hadn’t meant to reveal that!

“And we’re going to overthrow Mr Lyons and Mr Hartcliffe and take over the company,” Ashford said, then smacked his fist in his palm that he let the secret out.

“And I’ve been humping Gillespy’s daughter,” Bryant said, “Though I plan on dumping her this week.”


Bryant swallowed hard, then found himself saying, “She has the lips and the suction for great blowjobs, but she’s a cold fish at fucking and she’s a pushy broad when she’s not stripped naked.” He clamped his hands over his mouth.

“Why, you–?!” Gillespy raised his fist.

“Do it! Do it!” Ashford urged him on. “If you’re in prison, it won’t cost me $20,000 to have you hit!”

“You’re … you’re going to have me hit?!”

“Buttbitch!” Min Li shouted at the five-minute mark.

“You were going to have me hit?” Gillespy looked hurt.

“Three heads of the company is one head too many.”

Gillespy frowned. “Not two heads too many?”

“I need a scapegoat to take any potential falls. And Bryant’s the perfect idiot for that.”

“Or maybe Gillespy and I will get rid of you, Ashford!” Bryant stepped beside Gillespy. “Won’t we, Charles?”

“Get your hand off my ass, Bryant!” Gillespy muttered dangerously.

“Grouch,” Bryant said as he stepped away.

“So you were gonna have me hit?!” Gillespy narrowed his eyes to Ashford.

“You’re like a pit bull, Gillespy. You serve a useful purpose in taking out the enemy, but you’re too damn dangerous to keep around permanently. I have no choice but to put you down.”

Gillespy stepped forward and crouched. “Think you’re man enough to take me, Ashford?”

“Don’t do this, Charles.”

Gillespy began slowly circling to the right. “You want me to just lay still while you slit my throat, then?”

“Would you?”

Gillespy leaped for Ashford, and David raised the penis. “Catfight,” he declared.

The two men found themselves slapping each other and — egads! — slowly tearing off each other’s lingerie.

“David, this is getting ugly,” Kelsey observed.

“I know. I’m trying to think of an appropriate fate.”

“You’d better hurry before we have two naked fat guys slapping each other.”

David grimaced and urged the gears in his brain to turn quicker.

He couldn’t turn them into real pit bulls — they’d just tear out each other’s throats.

He couldn’t turn them into girls — that would just make them more dangerous than ever. At least you can usually see a man maltepe escort bayan coming when he tries to kill you.

Maybe some sort of chinese hell ….


Gillespy, Ashford and Bryant found themselves waist-high in water at the bottom of a deep well.

“What the fuck?!” Gillespie growled.

“I know this one!” Bryant grinned. “I saw it in a move once. We have to all three link arms and put our feet on the wall. Then we slowly walk up the walls, holding ourselves in place by pressing against each other and outwards against the wall.”

“Chickenshit!” Gillespy growled.

“No, he’s right, Charles. I saw the same movie.”

Muttering, Gillespy complied. They each interlocked elbows, then pressed against each other’s backs while they extended their feet to press against the walls. Slowly, they walked their way up the shaft.

Then someone slipped and they tumbled down, landing on top of each other, each man’s prick impaling the ass of the man under him.

“GET! … OFF! … ME!” Gillespy, who was the bottom man, flailed about, unable to stand it. “You did that on PURPOSE, Bryant!” he jabbed his finger at the other man when all three regained their feet.

“Did NOT!”

After some bickering, they retreated from each other to the walls, knowing that if any one of them killed another, the remaining two were doomed to stay in the bottom of the well for eternity.

An hour later, they tried an ascent again, with the same sandwiched result. Gillespy landed in the middle this time, impaling and getting impaled, and really getting creeped out by it all.

A year later, they were still performing their hourly ascent attempt, still resulting in a way-too-intimate sandwich at the bottom every time.


“Drooling pussy slave!” Min Li squealed at the five-minute mark, though she was muffled by Lydia’s thighs. David had turned her into his mother’s personal pleasure tool, but left the earlier programming intact for grins.

The group was relaxing in one of the larger offices at the end of the day. Katie was on her hands and knees, sucking David’s cock (David was wearing his 24 inch version now) while Kelsey propped her feet up on her former best friend’s back.

“Paul, lap Katie,” David commanded. “Make her feel good.”

“Beb buh (yes, sir),” Paul tried to articulate past his long tongue.

“David,” Professor Mulholland shook her head. “This isn’t right. None of this. This is all just ….”

“Hold that thought, Prof,” David held up an index finger. Katie was writhing as Paul’s nose impaled her pussy and his vibrating tongue lapped at her clit.

David held up the penis. “Let Paul’s chin extend and curve around to vibrate at the anus of the women he pleases.” Paul groaned as his chin lengthened and curved up into Katie’s ass. She squealed and writhed with renewed ecstasy while Paul continued his duties, looking like one of those crescent moon masks now.

“David, this is not right,” Professor Mulholland reiterated.


“Yes, David? Let me help you! I want to stay by your side! Let me help you figure out what to do with Mulholland and with all the other whores! I love you, David! And I love your penis! Both of them!”

“Mmmm … no. I’d rather you be more like escort pendik Karen here.” Karen looked up at her and smiled, jism from earlier ejaculations drying around her mouth.

“No, David! No, please! Anything but that! I can help you! I HAVE helped you! DON’T turn me into THAT!”

David held up the penis. “Let Kelsey no longer be immune to my scent.”

Kelsey clamped her lips shut and puffed her cheeks out, holding her breath, eyes wide, pleading.

“Oh, don’t be like that, sweetie. I just want to pleasure you so much you can’t think straight. Like Karen here.” Karen was standing now, backing onto David’s re-inflated erection

Kelsey looked at her former best friend. But she just couldn’t … bring herself to become ….

“Look at how happy she is.”

Indeed, the pleasure of the ages shown from her friend’s face. But ….

“It’s not so bad. Tell her, Karen.”

“Ohgod, David! Ohgod! Ohgod! Ohgod!” Karen cried as she came in more waves of ecstasy.


Kelsey swallowed, then exhaled.

“That’s a good girl.”

Then she inhaled pure orgasm. “Ohgod, David!” Her eyes rolled back up in her head.

“Wanna suck me?”

“Oh, YEAH! Baby!”

“Hop up, Karen. Let’s give Kelsey a suck.”

David’s girlfriend moved to pleasure his rod.

Once Kelsey got her rhythm, David turned back to Mulholland. “You were saying something, Professor?”

Striking quickly against that which she had been taught was morally horrible, Professor Patricia “Patticakes” Mulholland snatched the dangling penis from David’s hand and ran across the room.

“Professor! Don’t!”

She clutched the penis with both hands. “Reverse this! Reverse this all from the beginning!


“Also,” Grandpa Schulhauser told Paul while daughter and mother Carol was fingering herself and moaning in ecstasy, “be careful of circles. You don’t ever want to let your wishes make the world come back around on itself in a loop. It’s a Bad Thing when that happens, so avoid it at all costs.


David managed to open his eyes, awakening from his dream, and looked at the clock: 3:00 AM. Looking out into the hall, he saw light coming from his mother’s room, and suddenly wasn’t so sure the scream had come from his dream. He got up — quietly in case it was an intruder — grabbed the baseball bat he had lying in the corner behind his door and noiselessly hurried to his mother’s room. The sheets were flipped back and the bathroom light was on, so he stepped to the doorway of that room.

And his jaw dropped. David didn’t know his mother was an A cup, he just knew that she was very flat — she always had been. However, there was at least a D cup set of perky boobs hanging off her chest now, and she was studying them in the mirror. The baseball bat dropped to the floor.




Somewhere, echoing in the halls of eternity are the shrill shrieks of a monkey as he commands the newest whore in his harem — a teacher of language this time; the soft thud as she drops to her knees, presses her face to the floor and raises her tempting ass high in the air for him, begging pathetically; and the ecstatic, unthinking moans he teases from her as he humps her wet throbbing pussy. The monkey gets to keep the wishers when they make the snake bite its tail, you see — when they make wishes that lead to each other, around in a circle, around and around.

The other echo is the snake laughing back at the monkey ….



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