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I have always made it a firm policy of sleeping with my female friends. It just made sense to me and my argument has always been as follows: 1) we obviously like each other; 2) we enjoy each others company; 3) we laugh at the same things and 4) afterwards, we won’t have those uncomfortable moments of silence that accompanies sex with a stranger.
It was an argument that worked with perfection with almost all of my female friends save one, Sondra. She wasn’t buying it.
She said, “You’re just creating a harem of weak-willed women who were just too stupid to see the lame game you were running on them and that if you were the last man on Earth I would not sleep with you just on general principle.”
Oh I forgot to mention, she also happened to be my best friend in the whole world.
So with that said I never approached her in a sexual manner, though she became my sounding board for all my sexual exploits. She always listened intensely and would give me advice on how to handle situations that may have gone bad or how to win over stubborn women who were blind to my charm and wit.
Sondra would also tell me about her own exploits and I would give her my advice, which was basically to not fuck any men at all because they would all break her heart, which most of them eventually did. She was emotionally fragile person and every break-up would crush her. She never developed relationship calluses like most people and that was her biggest flaw.
Her other problem was that she was too attractive. Sondra drew men to her like flies to shit. She’s 5’4″ and had the most luscious 36DD breast and a fine well rounded rear end that could literally stopped traffic. Each day dozens of men would hit on her and she didn’t have the ability to filter out the assholes from the good guys because of the sheer volume of requests for her attention.
So after a while she stopped dating and spent many nights at home with Hagan Daas and a Pocket Rocket that I brought her for her birthday.
One evening, I came home early after going out on a frustrating date with an exasperating woman who left me flustered by her unwillingness to present me her sexual favors. So I rushed to the phone to berate this tease to my best friend. When ataşehir escort she answered, I could tell by her voice that I had just interrupted a session with “Mr. Pocket Rocket”, she snapped at me and asked me what did I want.
I, of course being the perpetual flirt, said “you and all only you, my dear.”
There was a pause, then a sigh and then in a slight whisper, “I know I am going to regret this but you have ten minutes for you and that semi legendary dick of yours to get over here or the offer will expire,” and then she added, “this is a one time offer, so don’t get any ideas about some great romance. It’s now 11:32pm, you have until 11:42, the clock is ticking, jerk” and with that she hung up.
Damn, I jumped out of bed and threw on a coat and raced to my car. On a good day, it usually takes 20 minutes to get to Sondra’s house but tonight it was raining, ugh. But fuck it, I was going to get some pussy, so I pulled out of the parking space as if my Honda was a dragster. I ran red lights, I drove up one way streets and all but drove onto her front lawn, so that I could beat the deadline.
As I ran up the porch to ring her bell, she opened the door and said, “It is amazing what a man will do given the right incentive.”
I looked at her and said, “aren’t you going to let me in?”
“Well, you are here so much anyway, you might as well have a key.”
I walked in and slid past her as she semi blocked the door. Sondra was wearing a men’s oversized t-shirt. She knew me so well. I don’t know how many times I told her I prefer a woman in a t- shirt to lingerie, any day of the week.
So as I stared at her ample unencumbered bosom under her big t-shirt, she said, “so what are you looking at, jerk? Don’t get any big ideas that I dressed for you, I always wear a t-shirt to bed.”
Which was not true since she always wore pajamas and ugly ones, too. But that’s the thing about her she always knew what I was thinking and sometimes we didn’t even have to say a word and would have a whole conversation between us. Weird.
“So how do we start this thing, Tantra man?” her nickname for me since I studied Tantric sex practices.
“Well, Betty Boobs, first thing you do is take off that t-shirt kadıköy escort so I can finally see those huge melons that have those silly boys going crazy around here.”
“Yeah right, in your dreams, you take off your pants first, so I can see that so called big dick of yours that your silly little girlfriends keep carrying on about.”
“No problem,” I said and I took off my shirt and then I pulled down my pants. I was by now aroused and almost at full mast.
She laughed and said “I thought it would be much bigger the way those girls carried on about it.”
I reached down and gave it a couple of yanks and said, “it does the job.”
She laughed again and said, “are you going to wait for me or are you just going to take care of yourself, right here and now?”
I said, “Listen, you need to take off your shirt right now, before I come and rip it off.”
Of course, rising to the challenge, she said “I like to see you come try.”
So I strode over to her with my dick in my hand and as I neared her, she took her fist and slammed it into my stomach which drops me to one knee.
She laughed and said “See, you are still a sucker for a sucker punch, aren’t you?”
As she stood over me, I suddenly got up and lifted her onto my shoulder, carried her into the bedroom and plopped her on the bed. I started to lay next to her and then she told me to stop.
“I think I am making a mistake. I know you so well, and I know you’re going to hurt me. You won’t mean to but you will and then we won’t be friends any more and I couldn’t handle that , not in a million years” and with that said she started to cry. I sat down next to her, placed her head on my shoulder and put my arms around her and just sat there in complete silence.
An hour later, she looked up and said “I love you so much.”
I look down at her and said nothing. I caressed her hair and just stared.
Damn it, why did you say that, I thought to myself, you just had to go and ruin everything.
But as she snuggled her head into my shoulder, I realized that wanted to be anywhere but here right now. This situation was so uncomfortable it hurt.
Then she asked me the next question, the big question, the one bostancı escort bayan that I should have headed for the hills and ran away from when I had the chance, “Do you love me, too?”
Fuck, no I don’t love you, I thought, you’re my friend but that’s it. But my mouth said something else, “Of course I do, can’t you tell.”
WHO the fuck just said that. I can’t believe I said something so stupid. Damn now I am screwed.
As soon as I said it, she pushed me unto the bed, straddled my chest and then took off her t-shirt.
Oh my Gawd, Good Lordy have mercy, they were the most magnificent breasts I had ever seen. Large, pendulous breasts with prominent areolas and nice bite size nipples. She leaned forward and kissed me all over my face.
She then reached her hand back and grabbed my dick and said “I was only kidding earlier, this is the biggest dick I have ever seen in my life.”
She then turned around and began to suck my dick. I readjusted her and we were in the 69 position. I started licking her clit and fingering her pussy. I pulled her up from my dick and sat her right on my face. I licked her asshole and sucked on her clit. She came hard and then wanted to sit on my dick but I stopped her, in good conscience I couldn’t go on with this charade any more.
“Wait,” I said, “I have something to tell, I love you but only as a friend and you are right if we go on any further, then you probably will get hurt and then we won’t be friends any more and I couldn’t live without you in my life either, so we should stop now while we still have a chance.”
She looked at me and said “I want to do this. I know you don’t love me the same way that I love you but I do love you. And yes, I do want to spend one night in your arms and making love to my best friend in the whole world.”
As soon as she said that something struck a chord inside me and at that particular moment I truly believed I fell in love with her. I reached over and embraced her and held her for a very long time. Then she said to me, “is this part of Tantra because if it is, it is kinda boring.”
I laughed and called her stupid and beautiful and wonderful and so many other things that truly failed to describe her essence.
So we made love throughout the night and into the next day and she became a believer in Tantric sex practices. But above all she came to realize that I did love her with all my heart and from that day forward she became my harem of one and her heart was broken no more.
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